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Joke Category: Computers JokesJoke No:  244

IT Quotes, Explaining Software and Programmers

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.
--Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.
--Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment..
--Fred Brooks

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it. It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.
-- Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the intelligent are full of doubt.
--Bertrand Russell

If debugging is the process of removing bugs,Then programming must be the process of putting them in.
--Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, You cannot have both at the same time.
--Bertrand Meyer

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.
--Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.
--Bill Gates

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs. The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots, So far the Universe is winning.
--Anon

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't know why.

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, When you do it in front of a live audience The probability of a flawless presentation Is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.


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