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  Jokes Category  >>  Personality - we do wierd things  Joke No : 828 
The New STOCK MARKET Terminology

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth Rs 1000 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth Rs 200.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until invested in the stock market

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell Broke.

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your friend gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "In debt, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

 Joke Added : 23, May 
 Submited by : Ranjit  Views: 31,028
Next Joke Current Rating: 1.68   (28 Votes)
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