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Dictionary of Evaluation Comments
Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.
Average:
Not too bright.
Exceptionally well qualified:
Has committed no major blunders to date.
Active socially:
Drinks heavily.
Zealous attitude:
Opinionated.
Character above reproach:
Still one step ahead of the law.
Unlimited potential:
Will stick with us until retirement.
Quick thinking:
Offers plausible excuses for errors.
Takes pride in work:
Conceited.
Takes advantage of every opportunity to progress:
Buys drinks for superiors.
Indifferent to instruction:
Knows more than superiors.
Stern disciplinarian:
A real jerk.
Tactful in dealing with superiors:
Knows when to keep mouth shut.
Approaches difficult problems with logic:
Finds someone else to do the job.
A keen analyst:
Thoroughly confused.
Not a desk person:
Did not go to college.
Expresses self well:
Can string two sentences together.
Spends extra hours on the job:
Miserable home life.
Conscientious and careful:
Scared.
Meticulous in attention to detail:
A nit-picker.
Demonstrates qualities of leadership:
Has a loud voice.
Judgement is usually sound:
Lucky.
Maintains professional attitude:
A snob.
Keen sense of humor:
Knows lots of dirty jokes.
Strong adherence to principles:
Stubborn.
Gets along extremely well with superiors and subordinates alike:
A coward.
Slightly below average:
Stupid.
Of great value to the organization:
Turns in work on time.
Is unusually loyal:
Wanted by no-one else.
Alert to company developments:
An office gossip.
Requires work-value attitudinal readjustment:
Lazy and hard-headed.
Hard worker:
Usually does it the hard way.
Enjoys job:
Needs more to do.
Happy:
Paid too much.
Well organized:
Does too much busywork.
Competent:
Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
Consults with supervisor often:
Pain in the ass.
Will go far:
Relative of management.
Should go far:
Please.
Uses time effectively:
Clock watcher.
Very creative:
Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
Uses resources well:
Delegates everything.
Deserves promotion:
Create new title to make h/h feel appreciated.
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