|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
The Modern Office
ON MISSION STATEMENTS
A Mission Statement is defined as 'a long, awkward sentence that demonstrates management's inability to think clearly.'
ON THE CUBICLE OF THE FUTURE
'Think of the Cubicle 6000 as a lifestyle, not just a big box to keep your crap in one place. We have captured the carefree feeling of a convict serving 20 to life.'
ON PERFORMANCE REVIEWS
In theory, the Performance Review process can be thought of as a positive interaction between a 'coach' and an employee, working together to achieve maximum performance. In reality, it's more like finding a dead squirrel in your backyard and realizing that the best solution is to fling it onto your neighbor's roof.
ON DOWNSIZING
After all the bright people fled, companies realized they had to make downsizing sound like more of a positive development to keep morale high. This was accomplished through a creative process of inventing happier-sounding phrases that all meant essentially the same thing. 'You're fired' (1980); 'You're laid off' (1985); 'You're downsized' (1990); 'You're rightsized' (1995). You'll see the following phrases used during the next five years: 'You're happysized'; 'You're splendidsized'; 'You're orgasmsized!'
|
|
|
|
|
|
Get Hilarious Jokes via e-mail everyday! It's FREE
|
Get Hilarious & funny jokes in your e-mail for free everyday by Funtoosh Joke-a-day!
Currently over 70,000 Subscribers get their daily laughs via funtoosh ezines everyday!
You can cancel your subscription anytime, Funtoosh.com respects your privacy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
StumbleUpon
Facebook
MySpace
Del.icio.us
Digg
Twitter
Comments/Suggestions
Advertise on Funtoosh