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How to speak about women ... and be politically correct:
- She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
- She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
- She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
- She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
- She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
- She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
- She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
- She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
- She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
- She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
- She is not a S_UT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
- She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
- She is not a TWO BIT WH_RE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
How to speak about men ... and be politically correct:
- He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE SYSTEM.
- He is not a BAD DANCER - He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.
- He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS
- He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
- He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
- He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
- He is not a SEX MACHINE - He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED.
- He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
- He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.
- He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES - He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC MOMENT.
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